Wednesday, 13 August 2014

It's hard to believe a month has already gone by!  Overall, things are going well.  Shana and I still struggle with our uncertainty about our places at work, but the better my French gets again and the more Creole I learn, the easier things get.  We've been busy in the NICU this week--one of the nurses on the unit was ill, so I had six or seven babies to myself.  Yesterday was happy because we got to send three babies home, always gratifying in the NICU.  Today was a little harder because a baby died while I was examining him--he just stopped breathing and we weren't able to resuscitate him in the end.  I asked if I could prepare him for the morgue and tried to tuck him in like he was sleeping.  Death is everywhere here, but we still have the power to respect and honor the lives that go before; what matters is to remain present despite everything and to refuse to turn away.   

This month I've thought a lot about how many people have said, "How can you live there?" or, "That must be so hard."  It's true that compared to the U.S., our living conditions are not luxurious.  There is no air conditioning or TV.  We don't have cars and aren't permitted to walk anywhere.  Our home and workplaces are barricaded behind thick walls crowned with razor wire and secured by armed guards.  There are lizards on the walls, rats in the yard, and ants virtually everywhere; one day there was even a tarantula in the kitchen.  We're usually sweating and often covered in dust as well.  We're surrounded by abject poverty and unimaginable suffering.  But we live comfortably compared to many others, and there is also a strange peace here between the moments of madness.  We have the knowledge that although we are working with people who have little, we have the ability to give them our attention and caring.  With nowhere to go and not much to do, we have abundant opportunities to just talk and spend time together.  And with the endless mistakes that happen when so many different languages are always being spoken, and the absurdities of life in Haiti in general, we have plenty of things to laugh about. 

So while I would say that yes, it is hard here in some ways, in others, life is much simpler--the difficulties all around bring the rest into sharper focus.  And what remains are patience, perseverance, faith, hope.