Monday, October 27, 2014

Saturday, 25 October 2014

The quiet hum of the nuns' prayers seemed almost surreal in juxtaposition with the chaos outside the van.  The pavement was barely visible beneath the teeming mass of people in the market, so the van was forced to slow to a crawl; we beeped and crept forward as the crowd reluctantly moved themselves and their wares out of our path.  It was barely past eight in the morning, but it was already sweltering in the sun and we were close enough to the passersby that I could see the beads of sweat rolling down their faces.  I saw everything from fruit and meat to disposable diapers for sale, but I had to wonder who had money to buy these things and how much anybody might make after a long day of work here. "This is the real Haiti," my friend, Sister Judy, said in my ear.  She had brought me along to work with her in the clinic run by the Missionaries of Charity on the edge of Cite Soleil, and already I could tell that this day would be nothing like working in the NICU at St. Damien.

When we arrived at the clinic, we were compelled to literally step over bodies to enter the building.  I said, "Bonjou," to as many people as I could, patted some of the children, and silently asked myself what on earth we were going to do with this many people.  Sister Judy told me that the nuns sometimes see 400 patients in one morning, and this is despite the fact that none of the sisters other than Judy (who is a nurse) have any medical training.  They've learned how to treat patients over the years simply through experience, and they do the best they can with what they have.  I followed them as they began to unpack buckets and boxes of medications and line them up on the table with practiced efficiency.  The medications are donated and many are expired, but they're better than nothing.  I noticed a recycled milk jug full of some sort of dirty-looking, yellowish cream on one end the table and asked Sister Judy what it was.  She told me that it was a mixture of antifungal, antibiotic, and anti-inflammatory creams--slapping some of that on a skin infection (which are common) would cover most of the bases.  I was slightly aghast, but I think I just said, "Oh."  There were no fans; within five minutes, we were all soaked with sweat.  There was one bowl of water and one towel with which we could wash our hands, although I don't remember seeing any soap and it seemed somewhat futile anyway.

Once the supplies were set up, Judy and I walked into the crowd to pick out patients.  Some of them she knew we couldn't help, like the many emaciated, sickly-looking children who were simply malnourished--she would admonish the mothers for not feeding them appropriately and then direct them to the malnourishment clinic, where they can receive nutritional supplementation.  Others, she would bypass for different reasons ("I never see the mothers if they tell me about their own problems before their child's").  After a few patients were lined up, we would start to take histories.  Some problems were obvious and easily treatable (ringworm, anemia, respiratory infection).  But with almost every patient, there was a list of ailments--an initial complaint ("I have high blood pressure,") would be discussed, and then as the conversation seemed to be winding down, the patient would add, "But my knee hurts too," and then later, "My stomach keeps me awake at night," and on and on.  I personally was baffled by these exchanges and asked Sister Judy how she ever knows what's really wrong--to me, it seemed like all the patients just wanted medicine for something; they didn't necessarily seem that concerned about what that something was.  Fortunately, Judy has twelve years' experience living and working in Haiti and is direct and no-nonsense, so she understands the culture much better than I do and is able to dispense advice and medicine quickly and send the patients on their way. 

Miraculously, by close to noon, the crowd was thinning.  Every single patient was seen, and I marveled at the sisters' capacity and tirelessness.  The thought that I kept returning to, though, was how unshocking the clinic was to me.  I have been in Haiti only three months, but already I am used to seeing crippling poverty, unimaginable suffering, and dire lack of resources.  In some ways, this is good--I am still able to function in the face of atrocious misery and sorrow.  But in other ways, it makes me worried--how can you continue to truly appreciate the magnitude of the crises in front of you when they are omnipresent?
 
 

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Saturday, 11 October 2014


Another fun day with the kids at FWAL yesterday...they're all so cuddly :)
Sunday, 12 October 2014

I really can't believe it's already been three months...WOW! :)

Things are going well in the NICU!  I am so grateful that the staff has welcomed me so warmly and I feel like I am finally familiar with the routine and speaking Kreyol well enough that I generally understand what is going on and no longer have to ask for every single thing to be repeated...ha.  Part of the reason I wanted to stay here for a year is that I remembered that when I was leaving France after four months, I was just starting to speak and understand well...hopefully once I can speak well here, I will have the opportunity to work more effectively.  I love the NICU staff and have so much respect for them--they are used to working with much heavier patient loads and with many fewer resources than we do in the states.  Although I was brought here to train the nurses, some of their clinical skills (starting IVs, for example) are much better than mine because they are used to doing everything alone, all the time.  It's incredibly difficult to think about the big picture when you have eight babies (and eight mothers) to care for.

My first project is hypothermia, which seems like the epitome of irony considering how hot is it here...ha.  Nonetheless, it seems like our premature babies are always cold, which is detrimental for their growth.  We have fewer incubators and don't always have extra linens, so I am hoping that we can change some of our practices and increase our parent education to keep our temperatures more stable.  More to follow!

Friday, October 10, 2014

Sunday, 28 September 2014

I've written about many things that are sad or difficult in Haiti, but I have also experienced simplicity, joy, and beauty here that I have never felt anywhere else.  Today, on our day off, a group of us decided to visit Wynne Farm (wynnefarm.org), an impressive ecological preserve in the mountains in Kenscoff.  Hajo and Birgit, our German neighbors, had the idea, but our friends who grew up in the home in Kenscoff also knew of the farm and the proprietor, Jenny, from visiting when they were younger. 

We often complain about the heat and dust here, but in the mountains, it's another world...the air is cool and the views are breathtaking.  We saw acres of vegetables and flowers being grown on the grounds, and also entertained ourselves making flower crowns with the clippings in the compost piles.  Which was perfect, since in the three hours it took for us to hike to the top of the mountain, we secretly decided that it was a good day for Hajo and Birgit to have another wedding...bravo!  And it was a lovely ceremony...complete with a mountaintop picnic, singing, and dancing!  Despite--or perhaps because of--the absurdity of life here, we definitely know how to make ourselves laugh.  Yippee :)


with my friend, Gerald...we are excited for some fresh air!
first sight of the beautiful flora to come!

Claudy and Birgit on our hike

"This is Haiti," I overheard.

Silvia communing with the bunnies

I love this photo...the spirit of Birgit and Hajo captured :)

walking down the aisle



Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Friday, 19 September 2014

Silvia told me that earlier in the day, every few hours "Claude" would ask her what how long it would be until we got to Kenscoff.  When she and I were walking out of the hospital with him, she had to tell him three times to slow down so that we could keep up.  His excitement was palpable, and it was a happy ride out of the heat of Tabarre and up into the fresh air of the mountains.
 
Arriving to find a home of twenty running, shouting little boys was a rude awakening, however.  Overwhelmed by the disorder, he shrank back in apprehension and pressed himself into us as if trying to disappear.  When Silvia and I took him to the clinic to get his medications organized with the nurse, he fell apart completely and melted into my lap, crying in despair.  The next day, I could see the salt marks from his tears on my black skirt.  We tried our best to distract and console him, but it was no use--his shrieks when they finally peeled him away from us were heartwrenching.
 
Later that night when the younger boys were getting ready for bed, we went back to check on him.  He was calm, but still subdued.  When his caretaker told him that it was time to bathe and put on his pajamas, he stood motionless, small head hanging and frail shoulders hunched.  I was about to move to help him start undressing when I saw another little boy already in motion.  He knelt down in front of Claude and started patiently taking off his shoes.  When he got down to the socks, he folded each one neatly and placed it inside the shoe.  When Claude got back from the shower and stood shivering in front of his bed, a second little boy arrived with a towel and gently patted Claude dry.  He then helped Claude put on his new pajamas, taking care to button each button and to straighten Claude's collar when he was done.

I stood frozen, speechless and awestruck...it was hard for me to fathom how so much compassion and humility could fit inside such small bodies.  To me, this is a testament to the fact that this is a home where love is.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Today I felt the most pure joy I have yet felt in Haiti.

Today our small friend who was injured in the car accident was finally discharged from the hospital and received official word that he has a place waiting for him at the home in Kenscoff.  In his short life, he has already known so much suffering--neglect from his family, HIV, tuberculosis, a serious car accident, loss of sight in one eye--but now, he will go to a safe home surrounded by beauty in the mountains.  He will have plenty of food, consistent healthcare, and an education.  And he will have hundreds of friends and a family that loves and cares for him.  Knowing that he's going to Kenscoff, today was the first day I saw him smile.

This is why we do what we do.

view from the volunteer house at Kenscoff

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Friday, 12 September 2014


There is no disguise that can for long conceal love where it exists
 or simulate it where it does not. 
-Francois, duc de La Rochefoucauld



Today we went over to the Father Wasson Angels of Light (FWAL) home to hang out with the kids and I met my goddaughter for the first time.  Love at first sight.